The Best Jungle Cruise Jokes may be told by different skippers every time you ride Jungle Cruise at Walt Disney World or Disneyland but that doesn’t make them any less funny. Or shall we say punny. If you’re looking for all the best jungle cruise puns so you can relive your latest vacation cruise we got em!
Jungle Cruise History
As one of Walt Disney’s passion projects inspired by his True Life Adventures series, The Jungle Cruise ride was first meant to actually have live animals. Which could have been awesome, but crazy unpredictable. So that ideas was shot down. Thankfully, with the introduction of animatronic animals, everyone decided they would be easier to manage.
Jungle Cruise opened July 17, 1955 in Disneyland Park and has been a mainstay Disney classic ride since then. Later opening in Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World on October 1 1975, Jungle Cruise is one of that cult classic rides in both parks that have a following. This simple boat ride down the Amazon River is filled with scenery and shade and jokes. And a must-do ride on hot days.
Jungle Cruise Radio Station
The Jungle Navigation Co. runs the Jungle Cruise, along the Amazon River. Known for its Exotic Cruises Departing Daily, business is good at this depression-era British Outpost. Guests seeking adventure can wait to board add listen to Skipper Albert Awol, the Voice of the Jungle. This radio show broadcasts on the DBC to all points unknown. And if you’re in the mood from classic 1930’s music, ads for mosquito netting and forecasts for skippers you can grab the Jungle Cruise Soundtrack of the Radio Show here.
Jungle Cruise Jokes
The best part of the Jungle Cruise are the jokes. While each Jungle Cruise Skipper brings their own sass and tone to every journey, the puns remain the same. We’ve broken these down by topic so far, because there are so many. But if you have a favorite we missed, add it in the comments!
Jungle Cruise Jokes about the Scenery
“See that bamboo over there? It grows to be six storeys tall. People say it can grow to seven storeys, but that’s a whole other story.”
Dr. Falls and the Backside of Water
“And now, we’re approaching the beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous African explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.”
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…the backside of water! O2H! Oh, 2, H!
Now please watch out for these carnivorous vines. Last week, one of them reached into the back of the boat and pulled a woman right out. It was awful! And just before she disappeared, she was feeling just vine.
And More Scenery
“Here’s Trader Sam. He’s our head salesman in the jungle. He’s got a pretty good deal for you guys today…two of his heads for just one of yours. Either way you slice it, you’ll always come out ahead. That’s a killer deal.”
Our Favorite Plants
“I’d like to point out some of my favorite plants here in the jungle.” (Skipper points at various plants)
(Skipper points to huge rock)“This formation on the right is actually sandstone, most people take it for granite. It’s one of our boulder attractions here in the park.”
The Nile River
“Alright folks, we are now entering the Nile, the longest river in the world. It goes on for Niles and Niles and Niles, and if you don’t believe me, then you’re in…(everyone in the boat says denial!) A BOAT! You’re in a boat! Come on, folks!”
Jungle Cruise Jokes about the Animals
A Toucan Six Pack
“There are a couple of toucans, if we had another we would have a six pack!”
“Everyone watch out for Ginger. Ginger snaps. That’s right, she’s one tough cookie. I know, I know…it’s a crumby joke, but I milk it for all I can!”
Bengal Tiger Jumping
“That’s no house cat over there. Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet, and we must be at least, well… 19 feet away! Don’t worry, he’ll jump right over us.”
“Here, we can see many different types of animals, such as the stripe-y pony thing, the long-neck cheetah…and the ones with the horns, those are new. And, of course, those are lions, ’cause if I called them anything else, I’d be lyin’.”
“This right here is a perfect example of why you never get into an argument with a rhino. He’ll always get his point across…in the end.”
Hippo’s Charge the Boat
“It looks like the hippos are trying to charge the boat. Well too bad, I only accept cash.”
“Don’t worry kids! That zebra is just sleeping. Those lions are his friends! The Lions are protecting the sleeping zebra.”
Crocodiles VS. Alligators
“Do you know what the difference between the crocodiles and alligators is? The crocodiles are made of plastic and the alligators are made with fiberglass.”
Looking for a Hand Out
“You know the crocs are always looking for a hand out. But be careful – I once had an English teacher onboard, she didn’t listen to me and now she’s teaching shorthand.”
And More Animal Puns on Jungle Cruise
The Richest Elephant
See that elephant right there? That’s the richest elephant in the whole jungle. It’s ‘Donald Trunk’.
Awe look at those elephants bathing over there. You know, you make think that’s water coming out of their trunks but it’s snot.
Scaring Away Hippos
“Oh no! Look at the Hippos that are about to attack the boat. Don’t worry I know just the thing that will scare them away, it worked on my last boyfriend. Screams, “Hey hippos, I love you. I really want to marry you and be with you forever and ever.”
Jungle Cruise Jokes about People
“Look at that boa sitting in a tree, h-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes…asphyxiation…just like every single relationship I’ve ever had. Yeah, it’s funny ’cause you think I’m joking. I’m really lonely, guys.”
“I love my job as a skipper. In fact, my parents are so proud…of…my brother….”
A Family Atmosphere
“Please watch your head when you leave the boat, and if you can’t watch your head, then watch your mouth. This is a family atmosphere.”
“Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed your trip around the jungle! I had such a good time that I’m going to do it again…and again…and again…every 15 minutes for the next 8 hours.”
The World-Famous Jungle Cruise
“If you enjoyed yourself, my name is Joe and this has been the world famous Jungle Cruise. If you didn’t, then my name is Kevin and this has been the Haunted Mansion.”
“As guests are boarding the boat “Come on everyone let’s fill up all available space, load the boat up. That’s the best way to enjoy the Jungle Cruise, fully loaded…. WITH PEOPLE. Come on, this isn’t EPCOT!”
“I get paid for the number of people I take out… not the number I bring back!”
“Everyone, turn around and wave goodbye to the folks back on the dock… they may never see you again.”
“You know, they say you can always judge the quality of a ride by its line, how long did you folks wait? My point exactly.”
“Before I came to the Jungle, I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. My boss almost beat the pulp out of me…”
Which Jungle Cruise Boat Sank?
Sankuru Sadie actually sunk in 2004 and Bomokandi Bertha sank in 2020 both in Magic Kingdom.
Jungle Cruise Merchandise from Polka Dot Pixie Shop
Since Jungle Cruise is absolutely one of our favorite rides, we just couldn’t help making some shirts to honor this super fun Disney Attraction. Our very first, and classic Jungle Cruise shirt was inspired by a poster we once saw and just had to add a little Adventureland fun to the mix. Check out the Jungle Cruise Hippo Collection. Or if you’re waiting for the Jungle Cruise Movie, grab our Cheapest and Most Thrilling shirt. We can’t guarantee you’ll be safe on your next exotic cruise, but we can guarantee it will be cheap and thrilling.
Jungle Cruise Film Adaptation
Jungle Cruise Release Date July 30, 2021
With Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson, Jungle Cruise is gonna be the best movie ever. Already the poster is showing inspiration from the Indiana Jones films with a little bit of drama. Following in the footsteps of Pirates of the Caribbean, another Disney attraction turned film franchise, this is an original script taken directly from ride inspiration. We can expect to see all our favorite parts of the ride show up in some way in the movie, alongside all our favorite Jungle Cruise puns. Check out the Jungle Cruise Trailer below.
Jungle Cruise Restaurant at Magic Kingdom Walt Disney World
If you’re looking for more Jungle Cruise fun you can find it at the Skipper Canteen at Magic Kingdom. Skipper Canteen is a table service restaurant complete with interesting foods, an adventurer atmosphere and more puns. Take your time browsing the trinkets and treasures stuffed in the rooms of this restaurants, and enjoy foods from your favorite explorers. If you’re up for adventurous eating read our Skipper Canteen Restaurant Review for everything you should know before you go!
Jingle Cruise | Christmas on the Jungle Cruise
In 2013, Walt Disney World and Disneyland introduced a holiday overlay for the Jungle Cruise ride. Complete with holiday decorations along the amazon and happy holiday head hunters, this is the only reason we sometimes agree to battle the Disney Crowds at Christmas. Disneyland’s last year for Jingle Cruise was in 2016, but we’re hoping it will return in the future. Here are all our best Jingle Cruise pics, merchandise you’ll need for the holidays.
Jingle Cruise Merchandise from Polka Dot Pixie Shop
If you’re looking for Jingle Cruise shirts, look no further than our shop. We love these deigns and just seem to keep making more! You can grab our Original holiday shirt featuring a rambunctious hippo in our Jingle Cruise Hippo Collection. Or if mayhem is more your style, we caught a rogue elephant messing with some gifts from a cruise that’s gone off course in our Jingle Cruise Elephant Collection. We can’t get enough of the holidays in general, so add a little Disney to it, and we’re there! Check out all our Disney Christmas Shirts in the shop.
Jungle Cruise Jokes, Merchandise, Holidays the Movie and More!
Hopefully this roundup of all things Jungle Cruise has you excited for your next Disney trip, the Movie or even your next meal at Skipper Canteen. Be sure to brush up on your puns and make new ones of your own! Your Jungle Cruise Skipper will thank you for it. 🙂